Because I Said So

idk what to think right now. thats all i can say, for now. why? because i said so haha

Where have You been all my life? It is true that only when there are hardships do I find You, but lately it has changed. I feel thankful to You when something (I think is) good happens in my life. I've accepted You. But You need to show me the way. Or else I will walk the way I want to and keep thinking that it's the way You want me to go. I am tired. I am exhausted. I know what I have done wrong and I want to fix it. Is it that hard? I want to live not only for me but also for others. I want You to be more in my life, to make me realize that Yes, without You I am nothing. I am weak. I am fragile. I am just a human being that needs guidance in my life. You are my guidance. I know You are there for me. Please be with me and make sure that I won't go the wrong way, or do the wrong things again.
Because in You, I am saved.

diarrhea

ve que for 4 days and im back so sick and tired. having a horrible tummyache and feeling so not well. may go to pha lau w TDN friends but i wont eat lol dont worry im scared too that i ll die of tummyache : (. i keep wanna pooping and its diarrhea and no its not good.

what else to say? nothing.

5th day in vietnam

hey yo !!!

so im supposed to be packing for về quê right now because im going to hang out w the crew in one more hour but then im too lazy haha listening to party rock anthem while typing this. and damn it took me 15 minds to load that song on YouTube!!! internet connection is not that slow but it keeps changing o.o

well yesterday was fun. idk why i wasnt very happy on mon but im fine now i guess. it takes time hehe it does. i just have to take my time first and then everything ll be fine.

k im even too lazy to blog now. prolly gonna go pack hehe <3

kudos people !!!

vietnam?

i feel kinda regretted telling someone the thing. i dont mind people knowing, im forreal. but i do mind people judging and changing the way they treat me. dont judge if u cant understand. i was born this way. it has never been a choice for me. whatever. my intentions to tell a lot of ppl here in vn have all gone. it shouldnt be short before i reveal the thing to someone else.

and im feeling so insecure now for some reason. shes right. im back after 1 year and 4 months and i cant expect ppl to treat me like i was never gone. everyone has their own life and their stuff to do. thats true too. maybe i shouldnt have high expectations for anything from now on i guess.

a few things happened in the last 2 days and im really thinking if i still should go back to vn when im done w school. thats how shitty things are in vn.

and idk what to type now though i have so many freaken things on my mind rite now. it feels so good to know theres someone who can understand u so well. sucky thing is shes all the way in missouri lol and i really dont know when ll be the next time i can see her again o.o

peace out!

----------------

TDN friends suck - big time. all of them. its my fault too lol. i dont keep in touch w people i dont feel like they r gonna be important in my life. and no i never wanna be the only one trying. whatever. these people are real "whatever" people in my life. no kidding.

and yeah i feel bad now that i dont open up to u guys a lot though now that im here in vn already. Thao is right (its u again Thaooooo!!!) ive only been here for 2 days i have to take things slowly first. but now u guys know anyway that yeah, im still sad. and upset. although we all know that its not worth it. but still, its normal, like how all of you told me. itd actually be weird if im not sad now.

and ML was right too, i have to love myself first before loving somebody else. perhaps i havent spent enuff time w myself. i need to figure out what i NEED and what i WANT before i just do things without thinking.

and i still hate too many people o.o

vì chúng ta đã lớn

a lot of things remind me of her. and yeah, i face it, that i do think bout it. but it wasnt a very healthy relationship. it is just so weird how i spent way too much time w her while i should have known better that no, it was unhealthy, dont do it. taught we one hell of a lesson.

tonite was so fun. i miss that. how we spend time together and laughed so much that our stomachs actually hurt. we need each other and we do try to keep each of us in one another's life. i was so happy and excited and talked way much more than i usually do haha. from Hien's love life to Bom's everything. and though Dai didnt talk much i know that he couldnt enjoy it more :D. and yeah for me that was truly quality time.

and again i feel my heart beating fast when i hear sb's voice. its not that fast lol but no it wasnt very normal either. but i know i just wanna keep talking and talking haha. fone cant text now so it sucks i have to call if i wanna talk. but we will see hehe.

dreammmm

yes im studying at 10 in the morning :(. and y m i blogging? cause i had the weirdest dream last nite hahaha weird in a good way though. i felt so excited and happy and whatever u call it when u dream a dream and dont wanna wake up anytime soon haha. but yeah, i like it. and no im not gonna tell u haha. and no its not bout my ex if u r wondering k how can she still make me happy lol such a W. hehehe cant wait to go back to vnnn !!!

mọe cái tháng gì mà bận rộn thấy mọe luôn vậy o.o

lẩu

khi chta trẻ mọi thứ đều giống như ngày tận thế. but it is not. i remember reading it somewhere (maybe from ur blog Thao is it?) and yeah, it is right. every hardship we go through we feel like its the end of the world already. k i dont know why i start w that intro o.o! maybe cause im going through finals and packing and still so freaken busy. the only thing that keeps me going is my trip to VN this thursday yayyyyy !!!

time does fly doesnt it? seems like just yesterday when i got my ticket and couldnt even book the seat for the trip back here yet. now im almost done w packing, studying for 5 big ass finals (which i was thinking to myself at the beginning of the semester that they ll not come soon o.o) and are excited to go home. cant u believe it? 3 more days and i ll be gone Thao hahaha. u dont know how much i want to see ur ugly face at home too.

nighttime has always been my favorite time of the day. but now that i go out too much nighttime just feels kinda lonely lol. it feels cool when shes still up haha but when shes gone i feel like im just by myself. since when did i become so independent? actually, since when did we become so independent? whenever i do something i always think of someone who i can do it w as an option, not a must. and i like it though. i wanna become independent like ML haha. ppl who depend too much on other ppl will most likely end up getting hurt because u know what, no one is gonna be w u till the very end. no one. wait, i forgot, ur parents will lol.

but yup, i wanna be fine on my own by myself. and im. wait, i cant, i cant without those đuiếc ppl. we are irreplaceable in each other's life, definitely.

went to The Red Pot w chi Na and Thuy today. it was fun haha. and omgosh lẩu is so freaken amazing for this weather !!!!! i didnt know it could be that good haha. but it was.

and yeah, im gonna miss some ppl when i leave. who? cant tell. well to be honest i think i ll just miss 2 people haha. but soon enuff i ll grow out of missing one of them. cus i ll find another taxi soon lol.

k going back to studying kkkk !!!

Sunday Sunday

actually it doesnt hurt anymore. lol it doesnt actually hurt at all but just at times i ll keep thinkin bout it and just feel down. but yeah. im even looking at old pictures of us now and smiling and thinkin that yup we used to belong to each other but not anymore. we had our choices. its just bitter because even if u move on that fast a girl with proper common sense would never do what u did u whore. k i didnt really mean to use that word but i think it fits in this situation haha. and no u dont deserve my respect anymore, dont even mention friendship.

and omgosh im so so freaken glad that we are friends Thao, im forreal haha. when did we become so comfy and so understanding of each other? it just keeps growing and growing and one day i just had to tell myself that "damn she knows about me as much as i know about me myself!". thats so frigging awesome isnt it? to have someone that u dont hide even a little tiny secret from. to be able to share everything in the world and even have the same thoughts sometimes !!! thuc ra m van con giau t hinh cua Benj do con tró nhung ma thoi t se tha cho m do. but yeah. i love her. for me shes the coolest person alive. im so not kidding.

Hien is even more depressed these days. idk what to say. we love each other in a way that not every caring word is spoken, but yeah we do still care bout each other. she just doesnt seem like she wants to talk bout it. actually she never talks bout those stuff w us lol. but i still love u con. we belong in the "Hội những cô gái khó hiểu" group do con Ku den dat ten hahaha. tsao noi gi r cung vong ve m vay Thao haha?

and i just remember today when we video called and even i think to myself that "im sometimes too girly to be gay" o.o! and Ku den said the same thing haha "u r to cute to be gay Yen... co khi nao m dang tuong tuong ko" hahaha. i wish Ku den i wish. but i like girls too much to be straight. cant be more serious haha. y m i so open about this these days o.o? still if u r not supposed to be reading my blog right now (cause only đuiếc ppl know bout this blog) but u r anyway, pls keep it low for me. tks a lot :)

and we went to a nursing home in GG today. yes it was super fun and meaningful. seeing those elderly seriously almost made me cry. idk. its just sad. i enjoyed it a lot. thank You, God, thank You. for such a wonderful opportunity and experience in my life. for making it work. for encouraging us to have the heart to do such an event. thank You. we werent the best. but we had faith, and it paid off. You rock <3 !

and i actually dont think bout taxi a lot now. i do think bout her but its just more like in a friend way, not in a more than a friend way lol. u dont need a girlfriend boyfriend to feel loved. most girls i know who keep searching for new bfs have only one reason, cus they dont have bffs lol. those ppl are pathetic. i have my crew, and i feel loved every day by them. we may not communicate a lot (except for the Missouri geek) but we know we love each other, and thats what matters. i still want a relationship now, but its not like im desperately looking for one. if it comes it ll come. i still go to school still hang out still skype w my buddies still do what i do every day. but if it actually comes i ll not run away from it. i ll give it a try. cus u know what, I AM CUTE AND I KNOW IT hahaha. even i ask myself y ppl dont hit on me o.o (see how i use ppl right there, im not talking bout boys only k. girls r way damn fine too haha).

k thats it for tonite. feel happy for no reason so i kinda blog too long i guess.

and yeah i started packing tonite too. i think im 80% done. just have to take care of the box in co Nguyets house.

k thats itttt. peace out girl scouts !

*idk what to title this o.o*

i still felt crappy until the morning. even crappier when i got to school late. dont wanna talk bout it. but then went to co Nguyets for mi quang and helped her w stuff and felt much better. i like my alternative family too much haha. feel so blessed to get to know them. and i havent had dinner w my Phamily for awhile now. omgosh im serious i cant even remember the last time i ate w them, and we LIVE together. things keep coming up and i never go home before dinner time, not to mention i usually come home when everyone starts to go to bed haha. my day starts late and yes, it ends late too.

and because yesterday i couldnt blog so now i ll make it up for u, happy? went to lunch w chi Thuy at Kaju. it was so much more fun than i expected. she is pregnant so she ate too much omgosh haha even Thai and i never ask for extra rice but then we did!!! we talked bout everything in the world. id love to have her as my sister. shes so cool and fun to be with. then she helped me accept Christ, which was a bit weird in a way, but i liked it. dont judge k but these days i talk to him a lot. cause i feel kinda crappy but then even when im ok i still feel thankful to Him cause nothing bad happens. Hes a friend. for now Hes just a friend that i can talk to whenever i feel the need to. but i actually like this friend. and i believe He likes me too :)

then went to 85 w Tram Anh. haha i used to not like this girl but damn shes fun. and cool too. not the kind that i wanna hang out w everyday but the kind that id love to keep in my life and hang w once in a while. but i like her. i asked her if we could hang out cause im leaving soon. and she said yes. but yeah, i like her.

then i had to drop off and pick up the kids and i literally just stayed in my car and drove or 1 hour !!! just around the neighborhood but damn it took that long. but its ok haha. i love these kids though. then went to friday night and ML wasnt there. i was doubting if she was going cus she didnt stop by my house like usual. but i still went cause there was no food at home o.o, and yes im forreal. friday nite is getting lame, thats all i can say. if she stops going i ll stop too, thats the deal.

then today after mi quang she took me to Roys for bbq. it was ok. was awkward at first but then everything turned out to be ok. im not a very sociable person in english i guess haha, at least not w people who speak english too fluently and are white too omgosh. suddenly i remember that half of a hot dog that i ate and even i thought it looked so gross after i ate half of it and she still finished it hahaha. not a lot of ppl do that for me.

then someone asked me today why i havent deleted old photos or old stuff w my ex. i asked why. she said so that i wont be reminded of the past relationship anymore idk. im not that kind of person i guess? i dont pay attention to details like those. or maybe it wasnt deep enuff for me to have to delete all those stuff to be able to forget? i actually read our diary a few days ago lol (dont judge k Thao!). it was cute. but it was the past. and i didnt have that intense feeling for her. like i always tell ppl, forget bout the past. i will.

and yeah, lets just stay friends k taxi. u r cool as a friend. i dont wanna go much further now. im actually cool w it too. u r just a friend that i like more than other friends lol. lets just put it that way.

byebye and good nite *less than 3*

have to let u down today blogspot. im tired. it was a busy day. too bad couldnt even get to see my energy source. its alright. im giving up. this time im forreal.

such a weird thursday

what to say what to say. i just felt crappy for no particular reason. maybe i wont wake up early anymore? idk these days idk how or why i just suddenly wake up around 10 and then can never fall asleep again though i know that im sleepy and i wanna sleep more. weird isnt it? but then cause i dont do much in the morning so i just feel weird, and kinda lonely i guess? usually my day doesnt start till 11 and end around 9~11 (depends lol) and i dont go home before midnight on the weekend lol. i like it though. the only sucky thing is that i dont get to chat w Ku den much haha.

went to Ross and bought 2 dresses for mẹ and 2 jackets for me. omg im in love!!! so warm and comfy and cool.

then went home and made a video w Ku den haha (actually w her voice only lol). yup it was super fun hahaha! then Minh Ai chat w me on Yahoo o.o! shes cool. i remember i used to like her. it was a tiny crush. but shes cool. but i dont like girls chatting w "jay ha" or too dẹo. oh well.

and Mau posted Home by Michael Buble for me on our groups page haha. i love her. shes the sweetest thing ever haha. even knows how to make cute stuff like girls always do. doc toi day con Ku se noi t dont hit on her man haha. im trying not to.

i like my english. even i myself feel that i speak english quite well. a lot of ppl have told me i sound like ive lived here for a long time haha. yes im proud.

ok bye bye *my byebye voice*

crazy week !!!

i think bout u a little bit today. i tell myself that i have to give up even though im not sure if i can do that. u even suck at being a friend u know that dont u? u just came into my life without noticing me, trying to get me out of my zone and Bam!, its like u r gone again. actually ur not gone. u r just the same person ive known from the 1st time we talked. same wall around u same personality same i-dont-care-bout-u-that-much of a person. even when we were just friends i still couldnt read u. now that i actually admit to myself that yes i like u, its even more confusing. i think u said it right, "i only like u when i see u" (its general k shes talking bout everyone in her life not just me lol). though u said its not what u really meant but i think it is. the more khó với u r, the more i want u. its just that idk if im gonna hurt myself again o.o

this week has been crazy. too many things come up. transcript, LB and Fullerton applications, papers, finals, packing, shopping... i sleep whenever i can haha. i even go to sleep before 12 these days !

everyone is busy, em, u know that. u just think ur too cool for me now dont u? i m actually not even home as much as u r. u just cant admit the fact that u have to have someone next to u who can actually pay for ur meal, who can say i love u every day, who can text u until u go to sleep. after the bitterness i just feel weird and somehow i think ur kinda pathetic. idk. but i know we r not gonna talk anytime soon.

and Thao i love u haha. as a friend duh. but yeah, i love u. i really dont know what to say besides that. chatting v m has become a habit haha t even tried to go home early to talk to u on yahoo wahahaha see how important u r to me now? t even left early yesterday to go home to talk to u though taxi was still there.

k bye già rồi đi ngủ lol

and yes im trying to blog everyday from now on no matter how busy im. uve been a faithful friend blogspot. and faithful friend deserves commitment :)

im bình thường

Tao cũng thích bản thân tao ghê luôn. h này tuần trước còn buồn bã vật vờ ăn ko ngon ngủ ko dc, h thì tao đã lại ăn như con heo và mặc dù ngủ đủ nhưng lúc nào cũng buồn ngủ :O. tao thích mấy ng vầy đó cảm xúc nó extreme tí xíu nhưng tới lúc cool là cool, ok là ok. tao ko có rảnh nhảm dữ như mấy mẹ trong fim HQ mà buồn mấy năm trời hay gặp lại vẫn còn luyến tiếc. dm đời ko fải là fim. mà cho dù có là fim thì bộ fim của tao cũng ko có điên dữ vậy. nói chung là bây h tao đã bt tới nỗi tao nhớ lại tuần trước và tao cảm thấy tao giống bị điên. vậy đi.

tối này dc gặp taxi thật excited. hôm cn có hang out đi ăn khá vui wahahaha. ngắn gọn vậy thôi. nói chung là ko biết có ttục dc hay ko.

type tiếng Việt lâu wá đi !!!

câu chuyện về chú mèo ko vui

Có những câu chuyện vừa mắc cười mà vừa buồn cười. chta đã lại là strangers, again. dù muốn hay ko thì vẫn cứ nhớ đến và vẫn cứ nhói nhói. Nó giống như cái gì ở trong tim mà đã label ko dc lôi ra nhưng “Forbidden dance floor, only makes me want it more” (by Manny in Modern Fam). Về cái câu nói này thì cuộc đời mình liên quan dữ lắm đó, chút nữa sẽ có hồi 2. Nhưng mà vậy đi. Cứ tối đến là lại thấy cô đơn và những ngăn tủ ko nên mở lại cứ mở ra. Giống như bây giờ chung quanh 4 người nc ko ngừng mà vẫn cứ cảm thấy lạ lùng, như là cứ tới giờ là ko thể ko nghĩ. Nhưng mà ít nhất nghĩ rồi thôi, nghĩ cho đã rồi mai mốt nhớ lại chỉ thấy mắc cười, ko còn buồn cười. quãng thời gian nào cũng có những kỷ niệm những con người mà thế nào cũng ko quên dc.

And it’s just weird you know. How you have known someone so freaken well that you even know what they will do, what they will say. And dang Bam!, they are gone. I feel like I am more upset about the taxi than the break-up to be honest. How sometimes I think that I know her so well and that she wants me to be a part of her life too, but sometimes when we don’t see each other it feels like we don’t have anything to do with each other’s life anymore. It still goes back to you, taxi haha. How I miss your voice, your smile, your concentration when you sing, your understanding when I came out to you. I really really can’t stop thinking about you. I always thought that I only blog when I have too much free time, but I just realized that I blog when I am unhappy, when I miss my taxi so bad and when I think about my bffs.

Ko phải là 1 ngày rất vui ngoại trừ đi biển với Ryan, cũng ko phải là 1 ngày quá chán. Chỉ là 1 trong những ngày mà chú mèo mập vẫn ko thể ngừng nghĩ về chiếc xe màu xanh và dù biết rằng 1 ngày chú sẽ bị xe đụng chú vẫn cứ mải chạy theo, và chạy theo.

POP!

yesterday was fun haha didnt get home till 2 something.

at 5 i went to endless food & fun for the ISP end-of-semester party. it was so much more fun than i expected. we had karaoke, buffet (the buffet actually sucks big time), a game card, laser tag... karaoke was so freaken fun haha. laser tag was actually pretty disappointing. cus i had to take Maria home when everyone was playing so i played after w/ 3 of the IS and we were on the same team so it wasnt that fun. and then went to church. there was a leadership meeting which everyone stayed to attend for an hour. then hang out w/ ML haha. its cool cus we both feel comfortable enuff not to have anyone else hang w/ us but still have no awkward moments (not at all) haha. drove her to POP and paid for her boba, then we just talked and chilled for like 2 hrs :D. even got to know and talk to the owner, Danny Do, the producer of Sai Gon Yo!. hes cool haha. but a little short i guess. idk time spent w/ her just flies so fast i didnt even bother looking at the clock. we talked bout everything in life. i did ask her if she feels insecure or why shes so independent. she said shes just like that, doesnt wanna depend on anyone. and she still hasnt found the right person yet (only left people lol). then left at 1 cus they closed at 1, drove her back to church but then we stayed in the car and talked for like 1 more hour, bout you-know-what stuff haha. she made it pretty clear her opinion that theres no bi, its either u r gay or not. so i told u yeah just think of me as gay then. then questions and answers and talk haha. i like it.

but maybe Ryan is right, theres no way in hell anything'd happen.

see ya : )

chiếc xe màu xanh

what should i do w u? idk. i think i ll give up. people like it when someone is hard to chase. but not TOO hard. and i dont want to get hurt. 2 more weeks and i ll be gone and i hope by the time im back my feelings for u ll be gone too. Thao is right im talking like we have something already but we dont. or maybe u figured it out that i have feelings for u already? isnt it too easy to tell? damn.

went shopping for 3 hours and 20 mins yesterday. i liked it so much hahahaha. felt like i was the happiest person on earth wahahaha. 

went to Boiling Point w/ Bi Map for dinner. it was ok. for me i wouldnt come back haha not anytime soon. because im having a stomachache right after i finished my hot pot. my tummy has been making weird sounds :o

chat w/ the gang (actually only Mau and Ku) and it was so freaken fun. and i came out to Viet also. hes cool. i like how calm he was. he mustve been shocked, i could so tell haha. and disappointed too. i feel like somewhere deep down he still has feeling for me? idk. idk ok maybe im just imagining again ahaha. but yeah. hes a guy friend that i know i ll never fall for and never want to lose. 

Mau talked bout how heart broken and sad Hien is. i know that feeling. pretty well actually cus i went through the freaken same thing. but i have a REASONABLE reason to hate both of them (one is a b**** and one looks like a les lol), while Hien doesnt, and it makes it so much harder. besides thinkin bout chiếc xe màu xanh actually helps a lot haha. or makes it worse cus i know its not possible o.o! idk. its a love/hate relationship, i like u but i hate u at the same time. but thinkin bout u always makes me feel better, kinda haha. u r my precious chiếc xe màu xanh <3

kudos!

i love myself

whats the deal w people today? Thien gave Andrew a lecture because he didnt do his test and e-mailed his professor saying hes sick so he can do it tomorrow. Then ML made me go to Tebo but i left like 5 mins after. Idk.

about u? i hope its not a rebound cause the guy that looks like a lesbian would be hurt really much. hes not even that good looking omg. i think i have better style (ever since i got here i actually have to admit i m better dressed now). but whatever. u may be having fun and surrounded by friends but one day when u look back, i dont think u ll be too happy that u lost me. forreal. i wouldnt call it love, the feeling i had for u. it just feels bitter now. in the end u made it become true, we actually are those kinds of awkward couples who dont talk to each other after the break-up. haha. and u know i hate those the most.

and i really dont know what to think right now. i like u. i have feelings for u. a long time ago already. i just thought itd be like several crushes i had had before. but it is not. i keep thinkin bout u. im trying to distance myself from u but at the same time still trying to get closer to u. u r one heck of a woman. i feel like composing my own song and singing, "this love is not possible" :). u r pretty but i actually didnt think bout it that much before. i hate u. why do u have to be so nice to me? i really want to ask u if u r afraid to get hurt, because u keep a certain distance from everyone, and i mean everyone. u dont like to be attached. u dont want any labels. u dont want to be dependent. u can be the most independent person ive ever known. idk. i really dont know. i cant get u out of my head. and u smell good too. and yes i feel like u ve sometimes sent me signals that i mistranslated and i thought we might become something too. idk. but i do know i wanna see u every day. i was so pissed at myself because i was trying to be cool and didnt sit next to u and damn, i wanna see ur face every minute if its possible. damn it.

and hell yeah i miss vn. i miss my parents. i miss my bffs. i miss u guys alot. i told ku den once i should just fall for one of u guys haha. but it ll be awkward. and no i dont want another ugly breakup.

Hiền con mẹ thương con đó mà có chuyện gì ko kể hết à. mẹ hơi cảm thấy ghen tỵ v thằng Mùn gì đó vì có cảm giác cái gì con cũng kể nó hết còn chtôi ko biết gì hết. khoảng cách địa lý đã xa khoảng cách chái tim còn xa hơn. xí. con Ku v con Bom mất dạy lắm đó nó nói TMC nhìn giống les đó Hiền hahaha tối nay đi đập xe wave của nó đi cái xe gì mà suốt ngày đi bảo hành mà hwa nó lại đi nữa cái nó đã chat trong lúc đợi đó. nói về con Bom tsao m có thể vui vẻ vậy nhỉ. t muốn dc như m đừng bao h buồn hết tại vì buồn mệt wá. tuy là t chán ăn và ĐÃ giảm ký (haha believe it or not con chó Ku i DID) nhưng mệt tim wá. hay là m buồn mà m ko nói tụi t hả Bom? oh cô gái nội tâm hihi. mốt t về t đã tính hết r đó, là vì bây h ko còn cục nợ con Ku nữa nên thay vì fải chở con Ku m sẽ chạy wave đẹp ra rước t haha vì t là người Mỹ về vn ko dám chạy xe hahaha. thấy t cool ko? sau đó con Mâu sẽ chở con Hiền chta sẽ tới điểm hẹn và gặp thằng Đại. nói thiệt luôn t ko có tính bđầu bất kỳ cái gì ở vn đâu so dont push it k. đừng bđầu cái gì mà biết sẽ kết thúc khi thậm chí chưa kịp bđầu :D. thấy t deep ko. xong r câu chuyện của con Mâu và n anh HQ đã ra sao r? t nói thiệt hồi đó t có hơi hơi hơi hơi thích m đó Mâu, nhưng ít ít thôi haha. nhưng mà t ngĩ là tới t cũng thích m thì ai mà ko thích m, mà m vẫn chưa date ai hết? nhưng mà thôi đừng date ai soon đừng giống t bị điên mắc mệt lắm. t v m ít nc wá nhưng t cũng ko biết tsao hết. t rất muốn nc v m đó mà tsao kỳ cục vậy ko biết ko bao h có dịp hết. t mà onl yahoo t cũng toàn off. nhưng bây h t đã để list riêng nick tụi bai và t lúc nào cũng onl v nick tụi bai nếu t ở nhà. cho nên cũng fải ráng make time cho t ok. hãy sắp xếp tgian nc đi nhe. Ku ơi t thương m ghê đó t ko hiểu sao m chống chọi ở bển 1 mình dc đó ku. ko giỡn đâu. t ở đây tùm lum ng nhà lúc nào cũng ồn t đã thấy nhiều lúc cô đơn, t ko hiểu sao m chịu nổi nữa. nhưng có những chuyện t muốn làm 1 mình thiệt haha t ngĩ là chỉ có n đứa như mình mới hiểu? and i cant believe we havent fallen for each other muahahaha có 1 hồi tối nào cũng skype haha. jk jk ok.

i want to type in vnmese i do but it takes so freaken longggggg. today is my mom's bday. i miss her. shes cute. my parents r both cute. i dont know y i left in the first place. but one day when i look back i think i ll actually appreciate the experiences i have here. im more mature now. and ve grown up a lot. idk. i miss my home.

and seriously i dont even know y i was so sad. im alone rite now listening to kind of a sad song too and damn, i feel fine. i cried a little bit yesterday when i was driving and actually didnt sleep. yeah i face it that i was upset though u were such a bitch. and dont think of me as someone who talks shit bout their ex cus u know what, u made me.

in short, im a happy camper now and i cant wait to pack for vn.

kudos!!

season of broken hearts

we dont live for yesterday. we live for today. we live for tomorrow. im like a dreamer. its sucks big time, but i think im kinda heart-broken. i keep thinking bout those good old days we were still together. damn im not that weak. but im hurt. i wouldnt call it love, now that i think bout it. but it still hurts. damn girl.

and yes i will stop using fb for a while until i find myself again, and i dont want her to read my blog (which only she and u 4 know of) so i think im gonna use this one for a while. it actually feels nice to use the same kind of blog as ku den's haha. easier to comment. maybe after a while im gonna get used to this and stick with the blogspot that i used to hate so much. who knows. people change.

maybe it doesnt hurt that bad cause she kinda dumped me, but it hurts because i wanna make it up to her for what ive done. dont ask, i cant stand telling the story again. it still hurts me till today how ive treated like nothing when she needed me the most. ME. I WAS A FREAKEN DAMN ASS when she needed me the most. reap the wind sow the whirlwind (i dont even know how to pronounce the whole sentence lol) but hell yeah it is one damn true statement.

and i found myself even more of a jerk when i realized how ive treated u guys so bad too. i even wonder myself why would đuiếc still wanna be friends with me after all these shit? i mean literally i can never balance myself between friends and gf. and there ur, ur still there for me no matter what. i think i need that more than anything else in this world. we r lucky to have each other in one another's life, yes we do.

and y m i still hurt again?

For Miss Crough.

So today I went to bio lab class with heavy steps cause I didn't finish my hwork yet (I didn't know part of Unit 8 was to be due today!) and the recipe and slides for the project was due late. But everything turned out quite good. Miss Crough told me that I am doing OK (with 2 thumbs up :D) in class, and when I went to ask her a question about lab today, she said that she worried about me and "It's something between you and me". She was afraid that my group project wouldn't do well cause she "know those kinds of behaviors" and it might affect my final grades. So if anything happens, "Don't panic. I will take care of it" Think about it, I was so stupid, I said everything was fine cause Zee and I made a commitment that we'd do A-work, only Nick that doesn't seem to care much about this. I should've just stayed quiet and listened and said thank you haha. But I was really touched you know, almost cried when driving home. I just sent her an e-mail anyway, I want her to know that I am truly grateful to be in her class, and to have her as my professor. Anyway, she made my day. I'd never forget this day when a professor saw my being hard-working and believed that I'd always do my best that she decided to "take care of it" for me even if my group project would have something wrong.


She deserves all of my respect, totally.


Good night everyone ;)

một tựa đề sến súa như hàng trăm lần từng thấy : Tình Bạn

chúng ta vẫn mãi là những người bạn tốt


video call v tụi bay là điều vui nhất từ trước tới giờ wa Mỹ từng làm, cảm giác lúc tạm biệt thật tiếc là tiếc. Như tao đã nói vài chục lần, có những lúc chta ko nc 10 năm nhưng lúc gặp lại vẫn cảm giác như mới hwa tao vẫn còn chạy xe vô nhà Bom v Hiền Ku Mâu đi ăn chè kế bưu điện. Hôm chủ nhật cảm giác thật vui dù trước đó chỉ nằm nhà cả ngày chán muốn nhũn người. Video call v Ku v Bom Hiền (thấy tao để tên tụi bay kế nhau ko cặp đồng tính hahaha), đã nói là down Skype đi 10 năm r cũng ko chịu, bây h cặp đôi đó đã thấy lợi ích chưa? Sáng mắt chưa con haha.


Dù có những lúc im lặng ko có đứa nào nói gì (thực ra cũng có mà ít thấy mịe) mà cũng thấy vui dễ sợ vui. Chat v Bom HIền thì tao v Ku thấy như đang ở VN, còn Bom HIền thì thấy như đang ở Mỹ, vậy cũng hay, mỗi đứa thấy gần v đứa kia hơn vài ngàn km. Tuy là thiếu Mâu nhưng cuộc chơi vẫn rất vui Mâu à (sao Mâu chửi thề đi Mâu haha). Nhưng mà đứa nào cũng nhắc mày hết Mâu à đừng lo. Tụi tao sợ mày buồn mày giận, nhưng con Hiền là thủ đoạn nhất nó nói tao post hình lên fb nhưng hãy chặn lại đừng cho mày coi haha để mày giận mày wa mày giết chết con Bi nhà nó nữa hahaha. Nhắc mới nhớ con Bi nó đúng là con quỷ mà, nó hét vô mặt con Bom như má con Bom vậy, tao cười muốn chảy nước miếng tíu dễ sợ tíu haha! 


Bây giờ lớn cuộc đời mỗi đứa cũng lớn theo. Mâu thì có vẻ buồn nhiều chuyện mà ko biết là gì. Hiền thì thích Khoa bao lâu mà hôm chủ nhật có dịp tụ lại cả đám mới dc biết (đáng trách nha Hiền). Bom hả, tao v con Ku đều đồng tình mày ko có gì giấu hết Bom à hahahha. Ai lớp diu hihi. Con Ku thì tao chat v nó mỗi ngày nhưng tất nhiên cũng có lúc bất đồng, hoặc có mấy lúc nó chat chậm rì tao tường nó bực tao chuyện gì (vì dạo này tao hay đi chơi wá ít chat dc). Lớn vậy thay đổi vậy (trừ đệ tử của con Bi, con Bom haha) nhưng tao biết khi ngồi lại quán chú chta cũng sẽ là đám đui điếc của ngày xưa, vẫn sẽ kêu dâu mít chấm muối tôm, tao vẫn sẽ đòi đi ăn ốc (và nguy cơ tao v con Mâu ttục cãi lộn sẽ đi đâu là rất cao), con Bom vẫn sẽ "đang tắm" khi giờ hẹn đã tới. Chúng ta có những con đường riêng nhưng giống như vẫn có những con đường tắt nối những con đường đó lại v nhau để có thể giao nhau bất kỳ lúc nào cần thiết. Ko sến súa nhưng tao chưa từng nghĩ có bao giờ tao sẽ xa tụi bay, sẽ ko coi tụi bay là bạn nữa. Ai hỏi tao tao cũng sẽ nói bạn tốt của tao là đám bạn cấp 2 5 đứa, sẽ luôn như vậy.


Tao ghét viết entry tình bạn mà nó bày đặt sến sến vầy nè.


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