actually it doesnt hurt anymore. lol it doesnt actually hurt at all but just at times i ll keep thinkin bout it and just feel down. but yeah. im even looking at old pictures of us now and smiling and thinkin that yup we used to belong to each other but not anymore. we had our choices. its just bitter because even if u move on that fast a girl with proper common sense would never do what u did u whore. k i didnt really mean to use that word but i think it fits in this situation haha. and no u dont deserve my respect anymore, dont even mention friendship.
and omgosh im so so freaken glad that we are friends Thao, im forreal haha. when did we become so comfy and so understanding of each other? it just keeps growing and growing and one day i just had to tell myself that "damn she knows about me as much as i know about me myself!". thats so frigging awesome isnt it? to have someone that u dont hide even a little tiny secret from. to be able to share everything in the world and even have the same thoughts sometimes !!! thuc ra m van con giau t hinh cua Benj do con tró nhung ma thoi t se tha cho m do. but yeah. i love her. for me shes the coolest person alive. im so not kidding.
Hien is even more depressed these days. idk what to say. we love each other in a way that not every caring word is spoken, but yeah we do still care bout each other. she just doesnt seem like she wants to talk bout it. actually she never talks bout those stuff w us lol. but i still love u con. we belong in the "Hội những cô gái khó hiểu" group do con Ku den dat ten hahaha. tsao noi gi r cung vong ve m vay Thao haha?
and i just remember today when we video called and even i think to myself that "im sometimes too girly to be gay" o.o! and Ku den said the same thing haha "u r to cute to be gay Yen... co khi nao m dang tuong tuong ko" hahaha. i wish Ku den i wish. but i like girls too much to be straight. cant be more serious haha. y m i so open about this these days o.o? still if u r not supposed to be reading my blog right now (cause only đuiếc ppl know bout this blog) but u r anyway, pls keep it low for me. tks a lot :)
and we went to a nursing home in GG today. yes it was super fun and meaningful. seeing those elderly seriously almost made me cry. idk. its just sad. i enjoyed it a lot. thank You, God, thank You. for such a wonderful opportunity and experience in my life. for making it work. for encouraging us to have the heart to do such an event. thank You. we werent the best. but we had faith, and it paid off. You rock <3 !
and i actually dont think bout taxi a lot now. i do think bout her but its just more like in a friend way, not in a more than a friend way lol. u dont need a girlfriend boyfriend to feel loved. most girls i know who keep searching for new bfs have only one reason, cus they dont have bffs lol. those ppl are pathetic. i have my crew, and i feel loved every day by them. we may not communicate a lot (except for the Missouri geek) but we know we love each other, and thats what matters. i still want a relationship now, but its not like im desperately looking for one. if it comes it ll come. i still go to school still hang out still skype w my buddies still do what i do every day. but if it actually comes i ll not run away from it. i ll give it a try. cus u know what, I AM CUTE AND I KNOW IT hahaha. even i ask myself y ppl dont hit on me o.o (see how i use ppl right there, im not talking bout boys only k. girls r way damn fine too haha).
k thats it for tonite. feel happy for no reason so i kinda blog too long i guess.
and yeah i started packing tonite too. i think im 80% done. just have to take care of the box in co Nguyets house.
k thats itttt. peace out girl scouts !
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