i get attached too easily. i know that. i just cant seem to fix it. its part of me. its who i am.

being gay is not a choice. theres no such thing as absolute wrong or right or you can only go one way not another. even street has U turns because you can go on either side of it.

i want to talk. i just dont know how to start. yeah my relationship with Hang has been great. more than great id say. weve been bonding and gone thru shit at the store together. lots of stuff have happened. wrong address for delivery, 2 1-star reviews, i messed up delivery orders, store closed on a fri which was supposed to rain all day... there were good days. there were bad days. at the end of it, we r all happy with each other n i know im closer to her than any of the other kids there. my life is all about working now, meaning i get to spend a lot of time w her. tonight was weird. i went to her house to hang w her n the kids after work. it was fun. then they fell asleep n we started talking. i got to listen to her crappy life w her husband n mother in law. which i dont mind. which bothers me is how shes got to put up w it n act like nothings wrong. idk. it got to me. then her husband got home n they looked almost like a happy couple. but they maybe not. idk.

idk what to think. idk what to do anymore.

i am a mess. honestly. i am.