Thảo đi học r nên Thảo ko còn viết blog cho Yến đọc nữa. nhưng dạo này tự nhiên Yến cũng thành fan của blog Hiền r. đọc blog hay any convo nào của đám này trên fb xong cũng tự nhiên feel good for no reason hehe.
i wanna write in vnmese but then it takes too long hehe. i really really dont wanna hide anything from u guys anymore so im just gonna say it here for this one time cus its too hard to say this in person. so i ll just type this down and i dont even know when u guys ll read this. just pls let me know if u did k :).
so we met today. i think u know who "we" are :). we hung out and kinda talked things through i guess. shes still disappointed in me for telling u guys bout us two hehe. i know i was selfish because believe it or not i dumped her for the longest time ever when she needed me the most. bottom line is that she never told anyone bout how cruel and ass and whatever the word u can use to describe a fucking heartless person is. but i did. its not only cause i was so down and felt so weird since we talked everyday and i had to keep such a secret, but also if i still have secrets from my besties (which is a kinda BIG one i ve kept for 19 years), then i really dont know where the world is going :o. i do also think that maybe she was right, getting her involved in this shit perhaps wasnt the best thing to do. i try not to keep the least secret from u guys as possible. and i think she might be the biggest secret ive ever had, and vice versa, im also her biggest secret :). shes not the one i used to know anymore. im not saying this cus i cant have her lol, no im not. shes just the popular girl i knew in 10th grade but now w a different look. i think im more mad because i cant accept the fact that she has someone else other than me, rather than i love her and i lost her. this is not love. forsuree. i just cant name it for now. for a childish selfish person like me, seeing something u used to own and then lost is not a very pleasant feeling at all! anyhow, since there was that time period i treated her so bad, im kinda happy now that shes happy. ive praying to be more patient and grown up and i think He is responding, slowly but very effectively. i need to get rid of this feeling asap and start being me again !!! bottom line is that i think we r cool w each other now and no theres no way in hell we r dating again. never ever!
i really dont wanna go back to the US now, bc of tui bay do !!! im having so much fun right now and its so freaken hard to imagine what im gonna miss out when i get back to nuoc My! mom joked today bout how i should move back to vn and go to RMIT if i wanted to. i believed her, damn! in the end i just realized that i love this country and no matter how bipolar i can be, Vietnam can never be a second choice <3.
i also hung out w Viet and his sisters today. its good to know that hes kinda back to the same old person i know him. i talked to thao bout this already if Dai or Viet asked now i wont say NO hehe. but then if they dont ask then i cant say YES either o.o! so yup, i ll keep praying to be more patient hehe.
k thats it for tonight i guess. kudos!!
im still in the search for God right now and i think im changing too, in a good way. now i understand why i kept feeling annoyed when someone mentioned Him when i wasnt a believer yet, cus forreal sometimes i just wanna talk bout Him only :). this is really hard to explain if u dont understand. im not trying to show off or anything. i just wanna say that Ive accepted Him in my life and if u see me keep changing in a good way, its Him :)
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