i swear i was asleep when ryan was driving me and ML home from the beach. but i cant sleep now. maybe the sunset peach from tastea is actually working now :(
i really dont know how i was able to blog such sến stuff omgoshhh. yeah i know those entries r cute but i dont think i can write one more letter like that to my "anh" soon. im feeling too good to think of such sến stuff i guess. and yes forreallll. i just realize that yes time and patience heal everything. and prayers too. the box i used to be so afraid just to touch is now widely open and i cant be more ready to let all the memories go away. everything always makes sense in the end. trust me. it does :)
ive been spending lots of time w a friend. hes cool. dreaming of becoming a fashion designer and he is talented. i know we r important enough to each other to make this friendship last. i actually enjoy spending time w him a lot. definitely. talking bout which we r kinda hanging out as a group of 4 w 2 other girls a lot too. i was actually really thankful to God to have been able to find these people in my life. yay!
and talking bout which again, ive just found a flower lol. its cute. its nice. its pretty. it doesnt whine. its not dẹo. its unique. its like the whole package. i just realize recently that most of the time, i do things based on my feelings. and my feelings tend to get really strong that they may even control my mind. but feelings dont last. when feelings go away, whats gonna happen? idk. i can only pray bout this. but no im not gonna lie that i keep thinkin bout the day i can steal the flower and plant it in my own garden. ive learnt my lesson and i ll take good care of this one. and yes i ll be patient. yes i will.
just so u know flower, ur smile kills : (
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ive been in a cranky mood ever since yesterday for no reason. and yes i mean it FOR NO REASON. im not pms-ing or anything. damn it. see i told u sometimes even ive to admit im too girly to be gay...
remember when people say books are your weapons and school is ur battlefield? i think its true. because i just realized that bible has always been my valuable weapon. i just never knew that. when i feel lost or when i feel im too distant from Him, i think about the bible. about how many words there are that i still need to learn but i just need a lot lot more time, more determination and more encouragement. i think about Him in my l, my head, try to look for him in my heart but physically, i still need to hold a bible and read it. im losing my faith day by day recently. im scared. i lose my temper easily. i do things based on my feelings. i dont think bout what i should do and if He was watching me right then in front of me, would i still do the same thing? i just do what i want to do. and thats not right. totally not.
im scared.
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Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will fully be prepared. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere.
Ephesians 6:13-18
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03/19
it was a good-bad day and kind of a good night. imh
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