had a good talk with ML yesterday. what are we now? she doesn't want any labels or attachments but I can say that we have been pretty close. I truly could never imagine we could even just talk one day, don't mention having boba and talk till early of the next morning. ever since last summer it has been one of a few relationships I want and I do take EFFORT to keep in my life. I like how my life is right now. I really do. not being sarcastic any tiny bit here.

I like Han. for some reason, I do. in a friend's way duh lol. I have fun every single time I am with her. never thought I could even really get along with this one. what is she like? tửng tửng I guess lol. not tửng tửng but it's hard to talk about serious stuff with her. she will listen but I don't think she is mature enough to understand life in general. but I enjoy my time with her. I like myself when I am with her. but I don't think I will ever come out to her soon. she is a drama queen. I guess every one of us in this fobby group is a drama queen lol. it's just a matter of who is more DQ. but yeah, secret will not be out for now. sometimes she gets TOO comfortable with me, both physically and online. and Huy kept telling me that she should know what I am a long time ago already. he said she is not the type to talk seriously but she thinks a lot. oh well. we will see?

I miss you Thao. I like talking to you. it feels like recently we talk because we WANT to talk, not because I am home and you are home and we talk because we are both home. I thought about it a little bit how you used to describe our relationship as fire and ice and LOOK AT US NOW hahaha. you are always the first one I think of when I want to share something new. you respect all of my opinion and always listen to me. you understand me. haha. I love you <3

We haven't talked a lot my đuiếc friends in Vietnam! Hien won't share. she always tells us "don't ask", which gets me really frustrated sometimes because we NEED to know what is going on in your life too!! to be honest I wasn't very surprised when you thought that TMC was gay. and I was a little bit disappointed when he turned out to be straight haha. but we love you. if only you would tell us more about you Hien, I'd really appreciate. sometimes it seems like I don't know crap about you. con Mau your life is just... not very exciting huh :)) haha until the Korean boys visit again. Bom's ông nội just passed away and for some reason I felt kinda relieved when I heard Bom saying that now they can reunion. they surely do need each other :)

coming back to ML. we talked a lot about romance last night. because of her and Alex and Don. and I kinda shared my feeling too, that I do treasure the past. I can look at our old photos and smile and still remember why I fell for her. I can. but that person is long gone. I treasure it as a gift from the past but it's the past, I like how she used to be, not how she is. It's just recently that I can actually look at those old photos and smile and still not get hurt anymore. that's why I can write about it today. from everything you failed at, you learn. and to be honest my heart hasn't beaten fast like crazy for the longest time ever. I still remember the first time it did. k hahahahaha ready? đuiếc should know already. it was MTL. I had such a huge crush on her omg should have done something about it. too bad. she turned out to be a slut when she moved here. literally. but it was cute. I miss her sometimes. wondering how she is doing and why what happened to us happened :). it was my fault. both times they were all my faults. hope there won't be a third time. I can't let chances go again.

No I won't.

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I threw a wish in a well
don't ask me, I'll NEVER tell
I looked to YOU as it fell
and now... you're in MY way